i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
