You're my little dorito
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
