so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
