is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
