Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
