No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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