you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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