She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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