I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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