I hate all girls vehemently.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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