Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
