well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
