Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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