my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
