Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
are you so shy because you have an std?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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