I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
