OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
