So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
