I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
