I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
