i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
