One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
