Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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