Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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