she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We are two peas in an std pod
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
