Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
