I faked an abortion last night.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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