I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
