Fuck appropriateness.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
