she looked like the before picture.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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