He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the day after is always just damage control
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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