How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it because I queefed?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
