i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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