hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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