he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
