in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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