3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
