I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it was like eating out sand paper
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
