How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
