FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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