Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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