My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My pussy is not your playground.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
