i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So gin and wine won't be happening again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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