i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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