Your dad touched me again.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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