if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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