Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
