Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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