If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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