Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
