i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
