My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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