there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
