the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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